December 16, 2011

Hanging out with my best friend Morgan was just about an everyday occurrence. Since we met we had a very unique friendship, always doing the most random things imaginable. On this day, however we did something we had never done before. My period was late (which it never had been due to the birth control I was on). So we thought why not take a test just to settle my mind? Sitting on the stairs I could not get up to look. She walked out of the bathroom with this look of shock on her face. I yelled at her to "cut the crap" and informed her that I did not find her funny. When I got up to look myself I realized she was not joking. 2 pink lines. We immediately ran to her car and off to Walmart for more tests. I took 2 more, both positive. I made her take one cause we were 100% sure there was no way she was pregnant, so if hers came out positive we knew they were faulty. Hers was negative. Wow. I really am pregnant.

Around 2am Tyler woke me up to let me know he was home from work safely. I told him I needed to tell him something. All I could say was "I'm pregnant." I now realize I could have gone about it in a different way but I was half asleep and scared out of my mind. At first he didn't believe me but then when he saw there was no smile and no laughing, he knew it wasn’t a joke. He went outside to call his best friend. When he came back in he looked at me and told me everything would be okay and we would get through it.

The next day we went to his parents house for the weekend. We decided it would be best not to tell his family till we were 100% sure. However his mom knew something was up from the moment we walked in, but I just told her I wasn't feeling well. We did tell a couple of our close friends who were pretty supportive... until they started drinking. The pregnancy jokes started when they realized I wasn’t participating. I know they thought they were being funny but since I had just found out the jokes really hurt. Otherwise, the weekend was pretty uneventful.

On the way home I decided I should probably tell my mom. I knew it would be difficult but I had to do it. I went down to my room to put a few things away and realized my room was completely clean. She must have cleaned it while I was away. The bag the test was in was moved and my heart dropped. I went upstairs and said "I need to tell you something." She immediately burst into tears and said she already knew. Most of the conversation consisted of "what are you going to do" and "I don't know." Tyler and I discussed our options. I knew I couldn't do abortion and I also knew I would not be able to carry a baby for 9 months then give it up for adoption. Those choices are good for some but they were not for me. I felt that the only other option would be keeping the baby and becoming parents. I knew that was the right decision for me, and I was lucky enough to have his support which solidified my decision. It was a hard and an extremely serious decision to make, but it is what was (and is) best for us.




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